An Incoherent Rambling on Virginia Tech...

So, I've let this whole Virginia Tech thing sink in a little bit and being a guy whose worked at a College for six plus years now, I feel like I'm in a little bit of a unique position here. I apologize in advance for the lack of proper grammar, and realize this is more of a rant than anything else, but in getting it out a little bit, I find some peace, as this one hits very close to home for me.

I may be jaded because of the length of time I've been doing this RD thing (too long), but the number of kids with GENUINE problems... I'm not talking about the kids who might booze too much here and there or set off the occasional fire alarm.. has risen exponentially. I'm talking about kids with SERIOUS psychological issues. I could name 10-15 students in the past three years alone I've encountered frequently that are SERIOUS disruptions to the greater community and nothing's done about them.

Everyone's talking about all the side bar issues like Gun control, video game violence, even why campus security doesn't do more. They're really missing the issue. I'll share a few stories here about the insanity that is today's college campus:

The worst I've ever seen was this kid... he was ALWAYS the kid who seemed close to the problem. You'd do a write up and he'd be at the end of the hall smiling watching the whole thing or he'd be walking out of a room where nonsense was going on.... well one night he and his roommate got completely wasted and got into a fight. He had a metal rod in a cast he was wearing. He hammered his roommate with it and the kid's head hit the corner of the door way and he fell to the ground. The hit to the head split his head open, the hit against the doorway did the same and when he hit the floor it was like a Mellon hitting a rock. Well I'm literally trying to hold this kid's brains in his head and we've got EMS there and he's SCREAMING while the cops are taking away "I hope that fvcker dies".

Well he got prosecuted and served only a year of jail time only for the school to ALLOW HIM BACK INTO THE INSTITUTION with NO mandatory counseling of any kind. So what does he do? Gets caught stealing books and selling em back to the book store. He got a $50 fine. Then he pulled a knife on an RA and didn't get sh!t. He literally was threatening professors via telephone and the school STILL did nothing about it. We had the Dean of Campus life, who was a total moon bat by even moon bat standards who thought everyone was provoking him.

Well I left SC two years ago and I come to find out this year they placed him in a senior apartment WITH THE KID WHO HE BRAINED his sophomore year. It's just utterly inexcusable.

One time I had to get a STATE police-issued warrant to search a kid's room and cracked a safe he had in there that had $15,000 in it and a few pounds of cocaine in there amongst other things.... the school didn't kick him out. Instead, they sent him to counseling and wouldn't allow police to prosecute (love MA law, btw).

So when I hear that VT say "Oh, we didn't know this kid was in an institution", I say that's complete and total bullshi_. They have his health center records and I'll bet it's on his medical records. Professors and even the school counselors (who at most places are beyond incompetent) were recommending he be removed from the community and he wasn't. He had a record not only with police but on campus as being a big disciplinary problem. Every single indicator there could have been for the school to remove him from the premises, or at least suspend him until he was psychologically cleared to come back to campus, was there and they did absolutely nothing about it.

This year alone I've got a ton of 'cutters' in the dorm who're girls that slice their arms up when they get upset. Out of 125 residents, I'd say 25 have serious social and or mental impairments. I've got one girl who will repeat entire conversations. You'll get about 5 minutes in with her and bam, she shoots back to the beginning and starts the whole thing over again. I already talked about the girl who was screaming at the Dean of Students and literally was punching the walls and pulling her hair out by the roots. She's still here.

There's GOT to be some sort of way admissions offices can better filter these kids. IMO, EVERY college kid should be evaluated by a counselor of psychiatrist to see if they're ready for it. Sure, some will still slip through the cracks, but at least you'll help curb the problem a little bit. As someone who lives and works with these kids every day and has been doing so for a long time, I can't tell you how much my wife's and my work load has gone up because we're literally explaining to these kids that slapping your roommate isn't the way to tell them to turn their music down. At least at Springfield when I had the guys, you yelled at them, intimidated them a bit, wrote them up and made peace with them when they were sobered up. The girls always have the 'issues', but even at the end of my time at SC, I noticed the mental stability of the guys going way down too.

In terms of security, well, there's only so much many of them can do. We have cameras and a guard stationed at every dorm entrance. Training requirements for campus police officers has no consistency from campus to campus. Most aren't even armed. There's nothing they can do to subdue unruly or violent students. Imagine asking a plumber to fix a leak without a wrench. These guys who work on campus police forces aren't even allowed to carry firearms in most cases and simply lack the tools to be able to do their job. That's not even getting into the fact that the super moonbat judicial officers at these campuses completely undermine what they're doing at every turn, just because they hate police. It's frustrating. Then to make it worse, they toss RA's at them with crappy training and put them at risk.

The other thing is too, that students need to start taking responsibility for their own safety at some point. I see kids holding doors for people I've never seen before. I write em up for it because it's a huge safety risk. They prop doors, and don't sign people in, anything. We had a kid who obviously raped a girl two years ago. She was beat up and his DNA was (thankfully.. for the case at least) all over her. But there was no record of him being signed in. They looked at the security footage and some other kid just held the door for him. Thank god we had the cameras, or we wouldn't have been able to definitively place him in the building during the time of the assault.

So I guess in sum, while we can debate gun control until we turn blue, it's really NOT the issue here. The issue is the messed up kid. But the first 'greater problem' we should be looking at is how colleges and universities are handling kids with problems. They can only do so much from a security standpoint so I won't fault them on that. Howie Carr was arguing that kids should be allowed to carry on campus, and though I agree with him 99% of the time, I thought he was completely nuts on that. If you saw how irresponsible most college kids are with their homework, much less a firearm, you'd be astonished. Giving college kids guns ain't going to solve the problem, it's going to make them more difficult to handle.

When you brush ALL that aside, where colleges bear some measure of responsibility is what they do when they KNOW they have a problem child who is a detriment to the community and they decide to do nothing about it. There's a neo arms race going on with colleges competing over tuition dollars that has caused them to take kids with issues less seriously. The money is the important thing. Beyond that, it's social activist judicial officers on campus who treat the college disciplinary system as a social experiment, with no regard for the people they effect through their action or, in these cases, inaction.

I've seen this stuff so many freakin' times and I'm just sick of it. I screamed about this while I was at SC and saw this coming years ago. Frankly, I'm shocked it hasn't already happened and it'll happen again. What gets me on the societal level is two things. 1.) the media's glorification of the shooter. He WANTED us to be talking about him like they were today on the news. Giving a guy like that press encourages the idiots. We had a bomb threat at a Republican event we held in Northampton the other day and when I talked to a reporter about it, they said they wouldn't print it because it encourages those types of people. The same treatment should be given to this kid. All it does in the end is embolden idiots and other crazies. 2.) In watching the commentary, it just astonishes me as to how detached adults are from what kids are going through these days. They're talking about gun control, what the campus security should have done and just about everything that doesn't matter at all. They're not recognizing that we've got a generation with a ton more messed up kids than we had before and we need to figure out how to reach them, how to treat them, but most of all, keep them from harming themselves and those around them.

Sorry for the rant, but this hits a little too close to home for me. What's more frustrating for me, is I feel like myself and other professionals in my field have seen this coming for years, and yet no one's done anything about it. Worse yet, now that it's happened, we're moving further and further away from solving the issue.

Again, apologies for the rant and the overall incoherence of this particular entry, but sometimes you just need to tee it high and let it fly.

What's Wrong With Firing Don Imus? The First Ammendment

“It is our feeling that this is only the beginning. We must have a broad discussion on what is permitted and not permitted on the airwaves…”---Al Sharpton

These words should frighten us all. What happened to Imus is not censorship, only another Sharpton/Jackson racial shakedown of another American company. But Reverend Al’s words are yet another societal sign of something very bad for anyone enjoying First Amendment protection.

The power of Sharpton and Jackson comes from the media. The power of the media comes from the First Amendment. But the elite media seem unconcerned about the meaning behind Sharpton’s words. Keith Olbermann of MSNBC has been good enough to make a list of radio and television personalities that need to be purged from American debate and ideas, including Rush Limbaugh, Sean Hannity, and the half of the county who do not share his political leanings.

Once again the left and the media elite (they all look the same to me) are more than willing to define just who deserves free speech for the good of the people. The Great Fourth Estate stands oblivious to the reemergence of the ‘Fairness Doctrine’ and the snowball gradually gaining momentum and headed for congress. The Congress of the United States is never afraid to trash the Constitution when in pursuit of a righteous end. And never afraid to hop a bandwagon when writing a badly conceived, self destructive law designed to pander to whatever emotional “outrage” happens to be on television. But someone will want to yield the political weapon of defining “racist” and other offensive words. Golly, who would be in a good position to do that?

And what a weapon this will be. Here is the instruction manual:

Thank you for purchasing Uncle Joe’s stain remover. Uncle Joe’s removes conservatives, libertarians, and any stain opposing the State.

To Apply:

Opposing affirmative action is racist, therefore illegal thought.

Opposing illegal immigration is racist, therefore illegal thought.

Supporting welfare reform is racist, therefore illegal thought..

All conservative commentators are racist, therefore banned. Especially that Rush Limbaugh guy.

Apply as many times as needed to eliminate stains. Simply define opposing ideas as racist and watch them melt away!

Warning! Harmful to comedians.

Utter the word “racist” enough times and it loses any original meaning altogether. Imus had barely finished uttering his ridiculous remark when politicians were running to the media. The media did its part by demanding comments from presidential candidates. Why would that be? How long before these political creatures begin the one-up contest over who can propose a law that best repairs this “outrage” and prevents any group from ever being insulted again? And who defines acceptable thoughts and debate? Sharpton? Jackson? Nancy Pelosi? Who is at fault for bringing us to the brink of violating (again—see McCain Feingold) the most important Amendment to our Constitution?

We are at fault. What happened to us? Have Americans always expressed “pain” when insulted? We don’t protest that we are “scarred for life” because of the words of a doddering old man…do we? Surely these women of Rutgers basketball didn’t scale the mountain of the NCAA tournament just to have their lives ruined by the words of a washed up geriatric. Is the lesson we want the young to learn from the likes of Sharpton and Jackson that mere words can hurt us in this way? What happened to “sticks and stones”? This accomplishment of Rutgers basketball far outweighs anything this moron has ever achieved in his miserable life of insults. Why not simply say so? We are handing over power to others to protect ourselves from injury to self esteem. How pathetic is that? Do we really want a generation so spineless that they are incapable of standing up and saying, “up yours you washed up old geezer”, without being afraid of the AARP jumping up to protect the feelings of old geezers? I am not exactly of towering stature; will I have a case for a civil rights violation if someone calls me a garden gnome?

We cannot possibly defend ourselves in war if we burst into tears when someone calls us ugly. We also cannot maintain a cohesive nation when we are too busy attacking each other, demanding “justice” for our injured feelings and walking on glass instead of debating our survival openly in the arena of ideas created by the First Amendment. A First Amendment that makes no mention whatsoever of the thickness of one’s skin when exposed to speech. We all can join Rutgers in laughing as Imus loses his job because the market no longer wants him. But we are standing at that very special line once again and great care must be taken with the next step.

The bottom line is that Political Correctness is completely out of control in this country. The ruling liberal establishment in this country are beginning to tread on dangerous waters. The Speaker of the House has set a precedent that America shouldn't have one foreign policy, rather a few hundred decided by what the latest polls dictate. We have a group of social 'activists' that want to dictate what people say on their air, yet do nothing when someone like Rosie O'Donnell peaks her head out of the toilet she lives in to say not only that 9-11 was perpetrated by the US Government, but that fire doesn't melt steel (how is steel made again?). We are making it wrong to point out when we see something fishy while riding public and private transit because we might hurt someones feelings. We have two Presidential Candidates that are as qualified to be President as a No. 2 Pencil, but because of their genitalia and skin color, they're serious contenders. What's worse, is that they'll likely be elected because of it. Here in Massachusetts, we've got a Governor who's woefully unqualified to hold the position he was elected to. I'd love to hammer him ideologically, but he has yet to even propose a piece of coherent legislation or lay out an agenda that would warrant doing so because of total incompetence. This country is eating itself alive by perpetuating sheer stupidity and chronic narcissism by favoring feelings over fact.

Me, Myself and I

A new study has proclaimed today's college students "more narcissistic than ever."

The study was done by five shrinks, who examined responses from over 16,000 respondents between 1982 and 2006 on a written personality test called the Narcissistic Personality Inventory. If you Google it, you’ll see that the NPI was published in 1979 and has hundreds of paired statements, one reflecting narcissistic traits and other reflecting non-narcissistic traits. The person taking the test chooses which of the two statements they agree with. The results are tabulated and according to the definitions and standards of the NPI, they gage the subject’s overall level of narcissism.

Regardless of the validity of the NPI, the results are pretty eye opening. According to the test, two-thirds of subjects have ‘above average’ narcissism scores, a 30% jump from 1982. The main point is that there’s been a highly significant trend in the increasing percentage of college students scoring ‘above average’ on the test.

I was an Industrial/Organizational Psychology student in my graduate years and have been a college Residence Hall Directors during and since then. I always have been very skeptical regarding the validity of all those paper-pencil tests taken by college students, but, you can’t argue with the base conclusion. I see it every day myself.

Narcissistic Personality Disorder is defined as (according to the DSM) “a pattern of grandiosity (exaggerated claims to talents, importance, or specialness) in the patient’s private fantasies or outward behavior, a need for constant admiration from others; and a lack of empathy for others.” The study says that narcissists “are more likely to have romantic relationships that are short-lived, at a higher risk for infidelity, lack emotional warmth and to exhibit game-playing, dishonesty and over-controlling and violent behaviors.”

As a Resident Director at various academic institutions for years now, I can say it pretty much does an effective job of capturing much of the essence of our youth culture of today, especially as reflected (and indeed created) by the mass media and Hollywood.

What alarms me most is what’s in store for our future. The children my wife and I meet with on a daily basis are severely emotionally stunted. They have absolutely zero ability to resolve conflict (a student came up to tell me that another student had taken a number 2 in the bathroom and refused to flush it and that I should do something), poor communication skills, an insatiable ability to sensationalize even the most trivial of matters and can be at times entirely vicious towards others.

I sometimes wonder if my Residents have ever been told ‘no’ in their lives. Roommate disputes sometimes involve Parents. And increasingly Lawyers are becoming involved. All over the fact that someone left their hair-straightener on. Roommates have fights not person to person, but on AOL Instant Messenger, sitting no less than four feet from each other.

In perhaps the most recent incident of the incredible levels of narcissism I’ve seen in our college aged youth; I recently had the opportunity to judge a Karaoke competition on campus with a few other administrators.

You’d think Karaoke would be a giant funfest, with people making fun of themselves, or at least having the ability to do so. I know I would never take anything I did seriously while singing “Return of the Mack” on the mic.

Not these girls.

The first act approached us during the intermission asking why their scores were lower (they were actually higher). Before I could squeeze and answer out (I didn’t even remember the score I gave them, that’s how little I cared about it), I was asked if I gave them a low score because they were black. No joke. It didn’t end there.

Another act came up on stage and sang Pat Benetar’s “Love is a Battlefield”. Well, not really sing. In fact, she didn’t know any of the words, so she did what comes to mind whenever any of hear Pat Benetar, and that was to whip out those glow stick thingies and whip them around. She was also dressed like Mrs. Jetson and Bob Marley’s rape baby. She was awful and the first judge said so, and she ran off stage crying.

The last round of the night featured a pick a number, get a random song format. One of the finalists received “Girls Just Wanna Have Fun” by Cindy Lauper. She was a girl who attends and all-girls school. She fumbled over a few of the words despite the audience literally singing (err, screaming) the entire song along with her. Well, one of the judges said she should probably know the song, because as most any reasonable adult male above 35 would figure, it’s sort of a late teenage girl ‘anthem’ (as he deemed it). She called him a sexist and broke down crying.

Again, all true stories.

Despite all of that, I am at odds with a few assumptions within the study. The main source of my disagreement is that they state that the roots of the increase in narcissism are found in the ‘self-esteem movement’ of the 1980s. They’re quite right to take a shot at the educational establishment, who’ve completely lost their minds altogether, and should be held fully responsible for the empty, vacuous ‘self esteem’ education we have to deal with today. However, I feel the true source of American narcissism is the liberation movements of the 1960s.

The core ideas of the 1960s counter-culture movement emphasized individual ‘freedom’, ‘personal growth’ and utopian dreams of a ‘new’ and ‘better world’. When these ideas were applied in real practice, they resulted in promiscuous sex, drug use, violent rebellion against the so called ‘bourgeois lifestyle of family, work and patriotism’, all while managing to leave self responsibility rolling in the dirt somewhere back in Albuquerque. It was all about doing what ‘felt good’. The self-esteem movement is an offshoot of this and as a result, it has produced the fine young ladies I got to judge during that Karaoke contest.

It is easy for anyone not enamored with "the Age of Aquarius" to see that today's youth merely reflect the shallow and selfish worldview bequeathed to them by their parents' generation. I have talked about narcissism on this blog frequently because I feel it’s what is driving our culture into the ground, but I feel the problem is a shade deeper.

Despite that, I don’t know if narcissism on its own is really the biggest problem in American culture today. We’ve always had narcissists. They’re usually so busy talking about themselves that they never really have much of an opportunity to do anything detrimental to society. The biggest problem is a mutated form of narcissism I like to call ‘hyper-narcissism’.

Hyper-Narcissism is when narcissism becomes dangerous. It’s when people mask their narcissism with altruism. It’s a graduated form of what I discussed above and has manifested itself all throughout our culture at the micro and macro level.

I remember sitting through a plethora of college leadership programs and workshops in both my graduate and undergraduate years. Nearly all of them ended in the same thing; some dumb-ass crying about how ‘amazing’ everyone was, how they ‘were impacted in so many ways’ by people they met two hours ago, etc. None of that sobbing and ‘thanking’ was really ‘thanking’. It was saying nice things about other people in order to hear more nice things about themselves. It was a tit for tat game with the person getting the most compliments getting bragging rights.

Even as a Resident Director and a graduate student, I was amazed at how co-workers desperately tried to validate the importance of themselves through other people and procedure. In one meeting, over RA awards, Directors would literally maul each other ‘advocating’ for their employee. Really, it wasn’t ever about the employee getting the award; it was about the RD looking like a great supervisor because their employee got the award.

In today’s world, if self-worship was a religion, it would be unprecedented in size. Senator Chuck Hagel (R-Nebraska) held a press conference last week to tell us that he had nothing to tell us. Governor Deval Patrick literally sought out the media to let everyone know his wife had depression. And in the latest act of political vanity, President John Edwards called a press conference and then scheduled a 60-Minutes interview to tell us all about his wife’s battle with cancer. Why? “Because we wanted everyone to hear it from us.” They said. A press release would have done fine. That way people know but it’s not in a flaunted manner. But nope, it was an excuse to get in front of the TV camera so ‘their supporters’ could hear it ‘from them’. Give me a break.

In nearly all of these cases, we have people justifying their egomaniacal behavior in the name of doing something good for others. Here’s where we as a culture are beginning to walk a slippery slope and literally consume itself from within. It seems everything is geared towards us nowadays. You Tube. My Space. We cannot have a government that is based on individual beauty contests and not on the common good.

We’ve kicked many bad habits in the past as a culture, but can we kick ourselves?